Infertility SUCKS!  Sorry, there is really no nice way to put it.  I feel as though I am going to have empty arms forever.  Thankfully, I am confident that the Lord will not allow our arms to remain empty, and that the longing of our hearts for children will be fulfilled.

Within the last month Hal and I had infertility tests done.  The results came back pretty negative.  Without getting into the medical mumbo jumbo (or revealing more than I am comfortable with), I have an ovarian hormone reversal which essentially will keep me from getting or staying pregnant.  Hence, the many miscarriages we’ve experienced.  My body does not believe that it is pregnant and therefore terminates the pregnancy. Hal has some issues as well which only complicates matters.  I cannot tell you how heart broken I was at this news.  In my desire to find out what our issues were, I almost wish we hadn’t found out.

However, my God is not surprised by this news.  He has us on this journey to produce something new in us, a renewed and strengthened faith, joyful hope, anticipation, and finding joy amidst the mountains we face.  That’s not saying that Hal and I haven’t been mourning and grieving this loss, but we also believe that there will be a time for us to dance (see Ecclesiastes).  I am also comforted to know that there are groups of people interceding on our behalf, and there is nothing more precious than that.

We’ve been referred to Southeastern Fertility for additional testing and to discover what our options may be.  Although our current doctor believes that our most likely option is adoption.  While we continue to pray that the Lord would allow us to conceive and birth a child of our own, we are asking the Lord to prepare us for a child of our hearts (especially if we can’t have a child of our bodies).  The song, “red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight.  Jesus loves the little children of the world” has been playing in my head for the last couple days….there’s likely a reason for that.    Would you pray alongside us that the Lord would fill our arms with the child he has prepared for us…whomever they are and wherever they may come from?  Would you also commit to praying for the healing of our hearts?  That the mountain we face would begin to shrink with the power of our Mighty God?  Would you pray that we would remember that God is not limited by our physical infirmities, that He is not surprised by our infertility?  Would you pray that we would remember that He LOVES us and is FOR us?