I got your attention with that one didn’t I?  I am a Christ-follower, a Christian, a lover of Jesus….whatever you choose to call it, and I don’t always like Jesus.  No, I didn’t just get struck by lightening.   Seriously though, that’s hard for me to admit.  Aren’t Christians SUPPOSED to like Jesus, doesn’t that just come as part of the package?

My honest answer…NO, liking Jesus doesn’t come easily to me.  I LOVE him as my Creator, Savior, Redeemer, Father, Friend, Counselor, Light in dark places, and on the list goes. However, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t loved someone but not liked them very much at times. I love my husband so much, but there are certainly times I don’t like him very much.   I think that’s a fair and truthful statement.

I sometimes feel that He is unclear, I sometimes feel like I am being manipulated, and I sometimes feel let down by Him and wonder why He won’t do for me what He’s done for others. I sometimes feel that I just don’t get it.  However, I know that I am nothing but dust without him. I know that I am a sheep wandered away from the flock without him. I know that I am wretched and worthy of nothing without him. And I know that by offering my life to him I have surrendered (given up my right) to my own wants, dreams and hopes for his wants, dreams, and hopes for me. I am learning to love him more than my life, to be honest with him rather than covering up my thoughts with “Christian-ese” words that mean nothing (you guys know what I’m talking about), to trust him even when I don’t like him, to walk this journey no matter where it leads, and to open my heart and mind up to more of him.  The cost of that is great.  It means giving up more of me and accepting more of Him.  It means enduring persecution and pain and loss.  It means repenting of sin which draws me further away from a right relationship with Christ.  It means accepting His grace and mercy when I don’t understand and simply don’t like Him.

I am fortunate to attend Beach Church.  A church where people can be honest and authentic.  We’re in a series called, “Confessions of a Pastor”.  Our small groups pastor (and the facilitator of our life group), Todd Elliott got up before the entire congregation and confessed to not liking Jesus.  WOAH!!!  A pastor not liking Jesus.  He offered a gut-wrenching, thought-provoking glimpse into authentic relationships with Jesus.  He’s invited us to join him on a journey with Jesus…A journey of really looking for the answers that Jesus leaves behind in His word, a journey towards wrestling with what Jesus says, does, and expects of me as a follower of Him.  I’ve decided to follow Todd’s journey as well as start one of my own.  I invite you to check out his blog I Don’t Like Jesus.

If we can’t be honest in the church, where can we? Joshua 1:8-10 (New International Version), “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”