I know it’s been awhile since I last posted.  It’s been a busy, busy, busy season at work right now so that has monopolized a lot of my time.  However, I will have a couple posts up in the next week since we just had a Stay-Cation (stayed in town on a mini vacation), and Hal’s 10 year reunion.

Until I get those up, I wanted to re-post a blog from a couple months ago as it really fits where I am right now.  As some of you know I have been on quite a journey the last year or so, one that has been painful as much as it has made me hopeful.  I received some wonderful news from a friend that has been a source of encouragement to me, but still reminds me of my own brokenness.  Like the pot in the picture, it is broken, but it’s not destroyed.  It is still useful should someone choose to use it as it is.  I’m thankful that the Lord chooses to use broken vessels… Anyway, here’s the posting…with a couple edits.

While I’m Waiting

I have found myself having a harder time with trusting the Lord in this area of my life.  Although deep in my spirit I am still in love with the Lord and know that He is still the same yesterday-today-forever, I feel disappointed by Him.  I feel let down.  It’s been harder to find my feet on solid ground again.  The Lord, in his faithfulness, has continued to woo me back into communion with him (for which I am thankful) and has humbled me yet again.  I was asking Him to simply remind me that there is a purpose He has in this and that He will remain steadfastly beside me as I walk out this journey.  And He did, through a song heard in a movie.  This song was played in the middle of the movie “Fireproof” that Hal and I saw on Thursday night.  It moved me to tears and I felt that all familiar stirring in my soul to listen up and take in what the Lord had for me in that moment.  I wanted to share the lyrics to that song with you.  This is “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller.  It’s on his CD “The Blessing”.

Beyond reading the lyrics you will definitely want to listen…just click the link below.

While I\’m Waiting

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on you, Lord

And I am hopeful

I’m waiting on you, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait.

I WILL MOVE AHEAD, BOLD AND CONFIDENT.  TAKING EVERY STEP IN OBEDIENCE.  WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU.  WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP.  WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL NOT FAINT.  I’LL BE RUNNING THE RACE, EVEN WHILE I WAIT.

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on you, Lord.l

And I am peaceful

I’m waiting on you, Lord.

Though it’s not easy

But faithfully, I will wait.

Yes, I will wait.

I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING,I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING ON YOU LORD.

Needless to say, the lyrics to this song almost literally brought me to my knees and have provided me with the ever important reminder that my God is greater than my pain and my sorrow, my fears and my doubts, even my joys and delights.  That even in the midst of my pain it should be and is my honor to worship Him, despite how I may feel.  That through the shared honesty with the Lord of where I am and how I feel that an exchange will take place and He will meet me in the trenches.  I love that about Him.  Blessings to you tonight.

So Hal and I had a rather eventful night.  I got home from the Pelicans’ game around 9:00 last night to a very pitiful husband.  He’s been complaining of fevers and just generally feeling crappy for most of the day, so I was hoping he’d be feeling better.  In the span of about two hours, Hal was throwing up and his fever had spiked to 100.7 degrees and he was complaining about pain in his right side.  Of course, that sent alarm bells screaming in my head!

I called the on-call doctor at Doctor’s Care (since we still don’t have a primary care doctor here) and he advised us to go to the Emergency Room.  So at about 11:30 we made it to the ER and while waiting to be seen, experienced a wide array of humanity.  Lots of highly intoxicated people, several injuries, one attempted suicide, one with a head wound, two with heart failure, and us.  (I overheard these cases after we’d gone back to have Hal looked at).  The doctor and nurses that were on Hal’s case were extremely nice and funny and compassionate…not something you find much in the ER.  After running a CT scan to check Hal’s kindneys and appendix, the waiting began again.

Long story short, Hal’s appendix was fine, and the doc diagnosed a kidney stone which he passed at some point last night (just based on all the symptoms).  So, after several hours we were released with a prescription of Vicodin should Hal need it, lots of water and rest, and keeping an eye on fevers and all that jazz.  But driving home at 2:30  a.m., all I could think about where the lives we came in contact with while we were there.  Broken people, broken lives, screwed up lifestyles, screwed up bodies, compassion, pain, doctors who demonstrated their understanding of the differences between men and women and what men are missing, nurses who got pleasure from putting tape on Hal’s hairy arms to keep the IV in place, all wrapped into 3 hours.  I found myself praying for those people behind the curtains surrounding us.  Praying that the Lord would touch their lives and renew their bodies and spirits. Would you think of them and pray as well?

And keep praying for Hal.  This is his 9th kidney stone (4th round of ER trips), and it’s brutal on his body.  He’s so tired.  And I, too, am exhausted from the worry and being up far later than I have been since graduating college.