Walking By Faith
Man, what a week! I cannot and will not go into specifics, but it has been a long and tough week…with no real end in sight. I, and several of the other church staffers, have been stretched into places we had never imagined we would be in. We have been placed into a position of FULLY having to trust the Lord because there has been nothing more that we could. We have been molded into being witnesses, caregivers, counselors, and prayer warriors. I am not at all tooting my own horn when I say that I have been praying constantly. I’m getting a real dose into what it means to pray without ceasing (see 1 Thessalonian 5:17). All this has also led me to the following verse:
1 Corinthians 5:7, “We live by faith, not by sight.”
This is a tough concept to grasp unless you are blind (which you wouldn’t be if you are reading this blog 
). I have never been blind, but do know that it is totally crazy and unnatural for me to walk around with my eyes closed and not looking where I am going. But here, Paul is telling, specifically the Thessalonians, but all Christians that this is what the Lord tells us to do. So, I find myself asking what that would look like in my life and why I should do it. As I’ve studied the surrounding verses and several others I have come to the conclusion that God is telling me that I need to step out of my own self, to step out of my own perceptions and my own vision…and seek His instead. That comes when I release control and accept His control over my life. Faith is complete trust and belief that God has a plan for my life and that I will walk through that plan even when I cannot see the outcome or how to get there. It is an understanding that I cannot do this life on my own. (Yes, I know there are more complicated ways to explain faith, but my brain needs simple right now).
Beyond that I wanted to add some other insight. Those who walk by sight depend on the things they physically see, hear, touch, smell, and feel. They depend solely on those things for their lives. The problem with this is that we are often fooled. Just look at what the world would tell us is the right thing. The world would say that success (or what is guaranteed) is a great corporate job, with the perfect family, the perfect clothes and hairstyles and makeup, the perfect fancy friends, living in the perfect large home with the fancy car and lots of money and stuff. However, God would tell us to consider the widow who supports her children with 2 jobs, lives in a clean apartment, drives a beat up car, but is so joyful with her life. Faith takes a step further in our senses. It forces us to not be fooled by Satan’s ploys.
Those who walk by faith recognize the need for God to walk us through lives even when we don’t see the outcome or the steps to take. It, in a way, requires risk…otherwise known as FAITH. This walking by faith requires a life that is steeping in prayer, and listening, and searching and meditating on the Bible for insights and wisdom and encouragement. It requires a need for something more than what is on the surface, to accept more, to believe more. But oh how it is worth that struggle to see beyond what the world says is good and to receive what is so much better! Walking by faith is a surrender to myself. It is stepping back and saying “I DON’T KNOW, BUT YOU DO…SO DO AS YOU WILL” and then being willing to accept what comes. What a blessing it is to know that we can trust God with all things. That we can place our faith in an unchangeable God! That when we don’t know what to do, He does. Man, I love my Abba Father, my Savior, my Shepherd, and my Fortress.
Throughout this week I am learning what it means to walk by faith and not by sight. My Father keeps His promises and guides us on the path to victory and freedom. I love it!
Delays
Wanted to say sorry for the lag-time in between posts lately. It’s been a tough week thus far. I’m going to ask for your prayers. I am going to ask that you specifically pray for my continued wisdom and clarity, peace and rest. I, and several other staff members and volunteers, have had to take on a situation that’s a pretty big deal and it’s been hard on all of us. I also want to ask you to pray for all the families in our church who have been touched and convicted by the series we’re doing at CRCC, “House:Behind Closed Doors“. We have had an amazing response, but with that response can also come devastation as we try to navigate these tough waters with so many families in our church. I would ask that you would pray for protection for the marriages and families at CRCC. I ask that you would pray for wisdom for our pastors and counselors as we seek intervention and reconciliation between families and God, and families with one another.
Again, thanks for your patience with this blog. I’ll be doing some major blogging soon as I dissect and pray over what I can share with all of you. Thanks and we’ll “talk” soon.
Abba’s Child
I’ve been sick for several days with some yucky head mess, sore throat, fever and the like. BLAH! I make a horrible sick person. But when I’m sick I rarely have the energy to do much else other than to plop on the couch and veg in front of the TV or read a book. Well, I picked up a book that belongs to my husband and it has totally rocked my world this weekend. The book is Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning. I cannot make the brain think any better than what Brennan wrote, so I am going to be including some of my favorite parts from the chapter I’m reading. My prayer is that it would bring you into a new place of recognizing our Abba’s true love for you. ( I am not going to put quotes on everything because everything below comes straight from the book.) May the Lord blow your mind!
The word, ABBA, is the term that Jewish children used in addressing their fathers. Jesus himself used it with his foster-father, Joseph. As a term for divinity, however, it was unprecedented not only in Judaism but in any of the great world religions. We are thus confronted with something new and astounding. Jesus, the beloved Son, does not hoard this experience for Himself, He invites and calls us to share the same intimate and liberating relationship….The greatest gift I have ever received from Jesus Christ has been the Abba experience. “No one knows the Son except the Father, just as no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him” Matthew 11:27. My dignity as Abba’s child is my most coherent sense of self… When I sink into despondency and the inner voice whispers, You are no good, a fraud, a hypocrite, a dilettante, there is no truth in any image shapes from that message….how we view ourselves at any given moment may have very little to do with who we really are.
Tenderness awakens within the security of knowing we are thoroughly and sincerely liked by someone…How would you respond if I asked you this question “Do you honestly believe God likes you, not just loves you because theologically God has to love you?” If you could answer with gut-level honesty, “Oh yes, my Abba is very fond of me,” you would experience a serene compassion for yourself that approximates the meaning of tenderness. Scripture suggests that the essence of the divine nature is compassion and that the heart of God is defined by tenderness.
Jesus, for “in his body lives the fullness of divinity” (Col 2:9), singularly understands the tenderness and compassion of the Father’s heart. Eternally begotten from the Father, He is Abba’s child. Why did Jesus love sinners, ragamuffins, and the rabble who knew nothing of the Law? Because His Abba loved them. Through meal-sharing, preaching, teaching, and healing, Jesus acted out His understanding of the Father’s indiscriminate love–a love that causes His sun to rise on bad men as well as good, and His rain to fall on honest and dishonest alike (Matt 5:45).
Because the shining sun and the falling rain are given both to those who love God and to those who reject God, the compassion of the Son embraces those who are still living in sin. The Pharisee lurking within all of us shuns sinners. Jesus turns toward them with gracious kindness. He sustains His attention throughout their lives for the sake of their conversion “which is always possible to the very last moment”.
Thanks
Let me be pretty frank right now. When I started this blog back in June I had no idea what it was going to end up looking like. I had no idea how it would be received or if anyone would even care to read it. I didn’t know if it was going to be strictly personal or a place of teaching or a place of discipleship. I didn’t know if I had what it took to keep this blog interesting or read-worthy.
Last night I read back over all my blogs and I found that this space is pretty much a compilation of all the things I listed above. I found that it does, in fact, represent me better than I thought. It represents my struggles and my joys, the events of my life, the ways the Lord is stretching me and moving me , and teachable moments are strewn throughout. What I found after reading through them was a sense that I am able to make a difference through this web journal. I’ve read back through the comments and am recognizing the tremendous blessing I have to share my world with you. I am realizing that you are blessing me in return with your encouraging words and thoughts. And wonder of small wonders, it has become a connection to people I’ve never even met. There is something amazing about bridging the location gap and finding relationships (no matter how small or how big) that would never have been made otherwise.
So, this is a thank you to all of you who take the time to read this blog, who take the time to bless me with your own thoughts, words of encouragement, and sometimes challenges. Thank you for also sharing a part of your world with me as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this journey with me. (More to come….)
Idea of Ownership
I had lunch with a friend last week and we got into the question, “Why do we have to deny ourselves in order to follow the Lord?” Definitely an interesting question and one that I know has been debated and rehashed a million times. However, in thinking about that question I wanted to share with all of you my response.
It comes down to ownership. 1 Corinthians says that we were bought with a price. We are no longer our own. Nor are we slaves. When God made the choice to send His son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins so that we could be reconciled back to God, He made a covenant with us. If you choose me, you will follow me. By my choice to accept Christ into my heart and into my life as Lord over my life, I made a covenant back to God saying that I would deny myself and follow Him all the days of my life. Of course, He also gave me free will. He gave me the ABILITY to choose.
By my choosing Christ, I must therefore deny my fleshly, sinful desires, my motivations and be obedient to Christ’s calling for my life. Because I was paid for by the blood of Christ I now belong under the ownership of God. He is my governing body, He is my leader, and my source for all things. My life should be a reflection of His guidance in my life because He paid for me with the death of His son. I chose to accept this gift, and therefore placed myself under the leadership (or ownership) of God.
So, I must daily reject my sinful nature (deny myself) and choose Christ. I, therefore, choose to unite my mind, my heart, and my body with Christ. I spend time in His word and truly try to discover new truths and revisit old truths and begin applying them to my life. I spend my time in prayer asking and listening. I spend my time attempting to be like Christ. This is a very abbreviated view of what the Lord asks & demands of us, but I hope you get the point. Luke 9:22-24 says, “And he said, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.” 23Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” To live the life Christ called me to many years ago means that I make an active, daily choice to follow the Lord…wherever and whatever that may entail because I am under the umbrella of his ownership. As such, my joy should be to love the Lord, be obedient to the Lord, and trust the Lord with wherever He would have me go and whatever He would have me do. I often fail at this because I often want things to be ALL ABOUT ME! However, God gently calls me back to himself, calls me to repentance, forgives my selfish sinfulness, and sends me out again on His mission for my life. I stand in awe of my Master, my Redeemer, and My Friend.
Happy Birthday, Chris!
First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!!! Tuesday, 9/11, was my little brother’s birthday. That date will always hold a special place in my heart. Not only because it was the day that insanity was born into the Hill household (ha-ha), but also because of the attacks on America 6 years ago. I remember exactly where I was that day. I was about to start one of my classes at Anderson College. My professor had the TV on and was not even paying attention to anyone in the room. One plane had already hit the Towers at this point. Then, to our horror, the TV screen zoomed in to the Towers as the second plane hit. I will never forget that moment. Nor will I forget the men, women, and children who died because of the tyrannical, selfish, and cowardly acts of terrorists. Neither will I forget how my entire family forgot all about Chris’s birthday. He never said a thing about us forgetting. He, too, was mourning the loss of lives along with us. I remember the next day when I finally remembered to call him and I asked him to forgive me for forgetting his birthday. He said, “My birthday is small in comparison to what has happened to our nation.”
Whether you agree with the war or disagree, let us rally in support and prayers behind our troops. They have chosen to serve our country in a heroic way. They are sacrificing time with their families, they are sacrificing the ability to put their guards down, they are even sacrificing their lives. Instead of bashing them for this choice, let us lift our prayers to God for these brave men and women. Let us also pray for our country, let us pray for wisdom for our leaders…that they would make the right decisions for our nation and for the world who looks to us as a world power. Let us not forget the price that was paid for our freedoms that we so easily take for granted. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
The Practice of Being, instead of Doing
So, I’ve been going through a a season of transformation lately. You can probably tell from my more recent posts. Basically I am in a position of changing right now. The Lord is transforming how I think about joy. The most common definition of joy is that joy is extreme happiness. I’ve really been questioning that definition in my mind lately…namely because of the extreme places the Lord has led me this year. James 1 has resonated in my mind for about a year now, and I think it’s because of this very idea. To put it in context, here is the first part of James 1:
James 1: 2-3, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
The Lord has radically changed what I believe about the word “joy” in this passage. In my own life I am beginning to define joy as an unshakable belief and trust in my God, as contentment and peace (despite what may be going on in my life, my reactions should not be subject to my circumstances), and an unrelenting CHOICE to emerge from my trials with perseverance, love, grace, and compassion. Please don’t hear me say that I am ALWAYS able to accomplish this joy in my life. This is all about a reformation in my life. I desire to be radical in my thinking, in my actions, and in my words.
Instead of doing, doing, doing in order to appear as though I am joyful despite my circumstances, I will BE joy. Too often we find ourselves doing things to feel as though we are doing the right thing, or to make people think we are in the right place, but we often get stuck in that rut that we forget that we are supposed to be in the right place. Think about it this way: rather than being broken and crushed and doing things to appear as though we’re joyful, I will be broken and emerging in joy. Does that make sense? Basically I will be proactive in being joyful all throughout my life…even at my most vulnerable and at my most weak, I will choose to wallow in trust in my God who loves me so much, I will be at peace knowing that my God holds all that happens in my life in His hands, I will be content in that knowledge that He is guiding my life, I will be joyful regardless of what circumstances come my way. This is the desire of my Abba’s heart, and my choice is to please Him.
Forsaking Is Protecting
Many of you are already aware that Hal and I are reading through the book, Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud. It’s a great book and I highly recommend it. Last night we read on the topic, “Forsaking is Protecting”. It really was a great reminder, so I wanted to share it here.
“A life of ‘yes’ to everything else ultimately results in a ‘no’ in your marriage. You simply do not have the time, resources, or energy to do everything you want to do. Marriage involves much more than 2 loving people keeping love alive. It means doing some hard work in forsaking, leaving behind, other things. This is not easy.”
My thoughts: Many newlyweds have a tough time with us and often feel disheartened by this….they each have their own lives and activities prior to marriage. It becomes easy to continue doing all these solo activities, only to find that you are neglecting your marriage. One or both people become bitter and resentful of the time being spent doing other things. The marriage ultimately suffers. Couples begin missing the intimacy and closeness of their marriage. Couples forgot to factor in the time it takes to maintain that connection. If the couples are committed to their marriage, they will begin the process of saving no to things in order to focus on their marriage. Hal and I are learning a lot about saying no right now. It’s tough and it requires making tough choices and decisions. As we speak Hal and I are having to cut some things out of our schedules that we were excited about in order to allow us more time to connect in our marriage.
Back to the book: “Couples need to normalize the discipline of forsaking and make it a part of everyday life. Comments like, ‘I need to check it out with my spouse’ and ‘No, we need to spend time together’ are two of the best things any married person can say to protect his or her marriage from intruders. All “intruder” problems are ultimately caused by either adding the wrong thing (inappropriate people or bad influences) to the marriage, subtracting the good (closeness and honesty) from the marriage or both.”
My thoughts: The idea I gleaned from this section was that three’s a crowd. I need to be “selfish” in a sense when it comes to my marriage. I need to be focused on what it takes to keep the good, intimate connection with Hal alive every single day. I need to be careful what people and things I allow into my own life. These things could end up being detrimental to the health of my marriage. If I keep my focus on Christ and continue to daily deny myself and follow Him, I will be able to make the right decisions in regards to protecting my marriage. Those sacrifices I am required to make may still be tough, but in my mind I will know that my diligence in protecting my marriage will be rewarded. Christ must be the basis of all our relationships. We must be willing to set down firm boundaries in order to safeguard those unions we’ve made “till death do us part”.
Just some thoughts on marriage and boundaries.
Intentionality
Is intentionality even a word? I have no idea, but it fits my thoughts for today. I have come to realize that I ought to be intentional about every part of my life. I should be choosing to be intentional with every contact that I make with people, I should be intentional with every aspect of my job at CrossRoads, I should be intentional in my relationship with my husband. I think you get the point. I believe the Lord asks us to be intentional, to be purposed in what experiences He places in our paths.
After much thought I had the realization that I had not been intentional in everything I do. So, I am making some changes. I have decided to be sure to be intentional in the moments God gives me. Instead of just meeting with people to hang out, I’ve decided that there ought to be some intentional conversation or prayer or something during that time. Not so that it’s about me, but because I want the Lord to have an open window to do whatever He desires through me! Not only that I should be intentional and purposed, but in everything I do to ask the Lord what, where, and how I should go about doing what He would have me do. I want to be in a place that I am so open to the Lord’s guidance that I immediately choose to act on it. Intentionality, I think, will make a big difference in how I view the situations in which I find myself. Just a few thoughts today…it’s been a busy week!
Playing to Win v. Playing to Not Lose
So, I attended the Clemson game last night! I already shared with all of you how much I love the smells of the stadium, the excitement in the air, the magnificence of Death Valley, and the thrill of 80000 people united under one cause…to cheer on their favorite team! I loved it, I screamed my head off, I clapped until my hands hurt, I grinned like a goon, I groaned at the botched plays, I stressed out when FSU started gaining momentum, and bit my nails to the very end. Yes, I am a Clemson fan!!!
But I did notice something pretty interesting. During the first half, Clemson really played to WIN!! They came out with energy and momentum. Their defensive and offensive lines did an amazing job! Cullen Harper, the young, untried quarterback was calm and calculating, made mostly smart decisions and really impressed me. But there was an air about that first half that led you to believe that Clemson was determined to play to win that game! At the half, 24-3 was a pretty good indicator of that. But after half-time, that momentum died. All of a sudden Clemson was in a new dynamic, they were playing to not lose the game. That’s a big difference from playing to win! The mad scramble for yardage began. The lead slowly started to eek away as overconfidence got in the way. As a die-hard fan, I was so glad that Clemson was able to hold out the lead for a 24-18 victory.
But it got me thinking about life. Isn’t this much how we live our lives. We start out with seasons of playing to win the game! We put all our effort and thought and energy into winning. Sometimes that leads to self-centeredness or cockiness or overconfidence, and then all of a sudden you’re scrambling to stay ahead. I know I’ve found myself in that situation. If only I had stayed diligent and determined to stay on course, I wouldn’t have ended up scrambling. I wouldn’t have ended up having to hussle to keep everything together. So, yes, there is something to be learned from college football. Be wholeheartedly committed to the end, don’t give up, don’t let up, go full force!
