Christmas 2009

Christmas is always such a special time for us.   My reflections on Christmas seem to change each year depending on what has gone on that year.  Since infertility has been such a large part of my life the last couple year, but more this year with the diagnosis, I spent a lot of time considering Mary.  What must she have felt when she was told that she would give birth to the Son of God?  How did she react the first time she felt Jesus kick?  How did she feel about having to leave her family, midwife, and lady friends (that would help her with the birth) to make the journey to Bethlehem at 9 months pregnant?  What was going through her mind when she considered the surroundings of the place in which she gave birth?

I reflected on what was common in the culture.  Only men were required to go to their home cities to be registered, so why did Mary travel with him?  Women from the area would come to act as attendants for Mary, along with the midwife to help prepare her for birth.  What sense would it make for her to leave that comfort in order to have Joseph help deliver her?  Perhaps Joseph didn’t want to leave her alone or was afraid he would miss the birth while he registered them.  Men were not part of the birthing process, they were most often separated from their wives to wait until after the birth, so I imagine he was not very comfortable with the prospect of being solely responsible for the birth (not even considering what the angel had shared with them…just thinking as a human here).

Anyway,  after dwelling for awhile on these things and reading the Bible for insight, my eyes fell upon a verse that hit me much harder than any other, “and Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart”.  Mary had surrendered to this plan the Lord had for her, opened herself up to believing all that had been told to her, and watched as the miracle of God’s Son came to fruition through her womb.  In holding her sweet baby Jesus, she treasured all she had been told and experienced deep within her heart and was blessed for her surrender.

This Christmas, I believe that is what the Lord wanted me to remember.  To reflect on the heart of sacrifice that Mary kept.  I am thankful for the example Mary provided of heartfelt faith and surrender.  I pray that I would have a similar heart in the year to come.

Here are some pictures from our Christmas celebrations (we invited friends over for a Christmas party and then Christmas with both families):

Kyle and Amanda opening gag gifts

Hal received a High School Musical pillow and microphone pen for his gag gift….priceless!

Emily and Mary Catherine, the makeup queen

Charlotte’s holiday haircut

Hal with his Christmas loot

Me with mine

Charlotte hoarding hers

Christmas at my parent’s house

Me and mom with our babies…Cody and Charlotte

Me with one of my favorite main squeezes…Daddy!

Me and my favorite crazy cousin, Lauren and my aunt Lori

My twin brother Steven and his wife Kimberly…sweet, aren’t they?!

My little brother Chris being his usual weird self…after looking thru all my pictures I realized that I didn’t have a single picture of him smiling.  Sad, very sad.

My nephew, Tyler, enjoying his gift from us…a bank that makes the sound of trains and lights up when he puts coins in it.

We had a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of our Savior, the joy of family, and reflecting on 2009.

I’m Thankful For…

I feel like I have had so much to be thankful for this year.  I have a beautiful family, a great home, a funny puppy, a phenomenal husband, a job I enjoy, etc.  The Lord has been good to me.  In that same spirit, Hal and I wanted to share Thanksgiving with some of the friends that have made Myrtle Beach feel like home for us.  Honestly I believe that this is really the first time that Hal and I both have felt like we belonged.  I grew up feeling very shy and isolated.  My brothers inherited the extroverted, funny, and sarcastic genes.  I was very much the introverted one.  In Greenville, while I had come out of my shell tremendously, I never quite felt like I fit in.  There were very few people that I would have considered real friends…

But since moving to Myrtle Beach, we feel like we have been welcomed with open arms and have made friends with people that I believe I will be friends with for the rest of my life.  We are so thankful.  We wanted to make sure that we showed them how much we love and appreciate their investment in our lives.  So we hosted a Thanksgiving party here at our home.  Hal fried his very first turkey, which was delicious!  I made desserts, and all of our friends brought side dishes.  There was much laughter, great conversation and warmth in our home.  To our friends, we LOVE each and every one of you and thank God for you each day.

This is some of the group that graced us with their presence for Thanksgiving: (on couch: Rob and Brian, playing Wii: Mary Catherine and Emily, watching them: Chris and Peter, in the kitchen: Jenn, Amanda, Kyle, Hal, and me)

Yummy goodness…the fried turkey.  What was hysterical was that Brian had never had a fried turkey and literally thanked God every time he took a bite (“Thank you Jesus, so good, thank you Jesus”).  Haha.

The spread…sooo good.

The line for grub…mostly patient.

Yes, we have much to be thankful for….

Christmas Card Photos

Hal and I always have good intentions for doing something interesting for our Christmas card photos, and yet, every year it just doesn’t seem to happen.  We wanted to make sure we actually did one this year since we have a new addition to our family.  We did manage to take a few pictures around the house (more formal than we’d like), so we are going to have to go with one of those.  We just never did get around to doing some fun, casual, interesting pics…life gets in the way, I’m sure you guys know how that is.  Here are a couple of my favorites…ya’ll let me know which one you think we should go with.  These haven’t been edited or anything yet.

Charlotte waiting patiently for Hal to set up the tripod.  He kept getting distracted by saying, “Where’s Waldo?”  I had to keep reminding him that Waldo’s shirt didn’t have a snowflake in the corner (look closely).

Our mantle (the middle one is Charlotte’s…we recycled Hal’s old one)

We were needing a momentary break from posing.

Our Christmas tree

 

A Dickens of a Christmas

I know, I know, bad blogger.  For the two of you that still follow my blog here are a couple of updates.

A few weekends ago my mom and dad came to Myrtle Beach to participate in the Dickens’ Festival…essentially, a gift and craft show, for Bella Collina Jewelry.  (In case you don’t remember, this is my mom’s jewelry business.  She designs and handcrafts each and every piece using sterling silver, gemstones, and some glass and Swarovski).  If you need a Christmas gift, go check out her website.

I digress, I helped my parents out in the evenings and the weekend since that was all the time I could spare from my real job with Chick-fil-A.  I found it amusing that their booth ended up about two booth spaces down from the Chick-fil-A booth…we had a great time chit-chatting with Tony, the operator for the 13th Avenue Double Drive Thru location. He kept us entertained and fed…so THANKS!!!

Anyway, mom had a beautiful booth set up and great costumes for all of us…and apparently the show coordinators thought so too because they named Bella Collina the BEST COSTUME award winners.  This allows my parents to come back to next year’s Dickens’ Festival for free.  I am so proud of all of my mom’s hard work.  And I have to admit that I had a great time getting dressed up for the event.  I also have no idea how they did it.   I was only there on Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday and Sunday, and my feet were killing me and I was exhausted!  I really enjoyed spending some time with my parents, getting dressed up, and seeing mom’s excitement over people LOVING her jewelry.  Here are some pics of the event:

The thorn between two roses

Yours truly

The Bella Collina booth

 

Infertility

Infertility SUCKS!  Sorry, there is really no nice way to put it.  I feel as though I am going to have empty arms forever.  Thankfully, I am confident that the Lord will not allow our arms to remain empty, and that the longing of our hearts for children will be fulfilled.

Within the last month Hal and I had infertility tests done.  The results came back pretty negative.  Without getting into the medical mumbo jumbo (or revealing more than I am comfortable with), I have an ovarian hormone reversal which essentially will keep me from getting or staying pregnant.  Hence, the many miscarriages we’ve experienced.  My body does not believe that it is pregnant and therefore terminates the pregnancy. Hal has some issues as well which only complicates matters.  I cannot tell you how heart broken I was at this news.  In my desire to find out what our issues were, I almost wish we hadn’t found out.

However, my God is not surprised by this news.  He has us on this journey to produce something new in us, a renewed and strengthened faith, joyful hope, anticipation, and finding joy amidst the mountains we face.  That’s not saying that Hal and I haven’t been mourning and grieving this loss, but we also believe that there will be a time for us to dance (see Ecclesiastes).  I am also comforted to know that there are groups of people interceding on our behalf, and there is nothing more precious than that.

We’ve been referred to Southeastern Fertility for additional testing and to discover what our options may be.  Although our current doctor believes that our most likely option is adoption.  While we continue to pray that the Lord would allow us to conceive and birth a child of our own, we are asking the Lord to prepare us for a child of our hearts (especially if we can’t have a child of our bodies).  The song, “red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight.  Jesus loves the little children of the world” has been playing in my head for the last couple days….there’s likely a reason for that.    Would you pray alongside us that the Lord would fill our arms with the child he has prepared for us…whomever they are and wherever they may come from?  Would you also commit to praying for the healing of our hearts?  That the mountain we face would begin to shrink with the power of our Mighty God?  Would you pray that we would remember that God is not limited by our physical infirmities, that He is not surprised by our infertility?  Would you pray that we would remember that He LOVES us and is FOR us?

New Addition to the Weber Family

We have finally added to the Weber family….meet Charlotte.

She’s a 6 week old Cockapoo (1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 poodle).  She is delightfully funny, has a quirky personality, loves to snuggle and run, likes to chew Hal’s old flip flops, runs to the door when she needs to potty (YAY!!!!), and has captured our hearts.

Hal and I both have needed something to nurture, to care for, to focus on, and to love while we are in waiting to be blessed with a child of our own.  We had felt so frustrated and disappointed with our infertility that we had begun focusing all our attention on that.  Which, as anyone who has been through this, knows that it can completely ruin your life if that’s all you focus on.  So, we knew we needed to make a change….thus, the inclusion of Charlotte in our little family.

Me and my girl!  Please ignore the randomness of my appearance…I had been wearing a dress with that jewelry and Charlotte was chewing the dress to pieces so I had to change…then she went after my hair.

Hal loves his girl

She loves playing in the grass…and eating the crabgrass.

More pics on Facebook.  We love her so much already….even when she accidently potties on the floor cause Mom and Dad aren’t paying enough attention to her signals. We’re so blessed to have her….she loves guests, so be sure to visit!!!

Hal’s 29th!

Shocking I know…two posts in one day!  This weekend I had the honor of celebrating with Hal for his 29th birthday!!!  We kept it low key since it had been a nutso week, but we had a great time.  To kick things off this year, I planned and saved for weeks to get his gifts, and I got them….2 months early.  So I have been torturing him for the last 8 weeks with these wrapped gifts that he had to wait to open till his birthday.  Ain’t marriage grand?!

We kicked off the day by eating leftover Chinese for lunch after church…exciting, right?!  All I can say is….budget, budget, budget.  But I did let Hal go ahead and open his presents after lunch.  I figured I had tortured him enough.

I think he was a little excited.

It’s a router…from what he explained it finishes edge and plunges holes (it’s some dual deal….thank you Lowe’s team member for the help!).

The big box which kept him very perplexed.

It’s a tablesaw….now he can cut things….like wood.

I think he’s trying to figure out how to use these tools to build a Jeep…I think he has a long way to go.

That night we went to Travinia for dinner…great Italian food and nice ambiance.  After taking our sweet time, we headed over to B & N to buy a puppy book so we’re prepared for Charlotte (see previous post).  I’m now well-read on crate training, potty training, and leash training…let’s hope these book smarts translate in real life.

And finally, for his birthday cake.  Hal loves cheesecake, I mean loves cheesecake.  So, I decided to forego the typical birthday cake and make him a cheesecake.  Only there’s one problem….I have never made a cheesecake, ever.  After looking at several recipes I settled on a New York style with a shortbread crust.  Many hours later, it tasted good, but it had some major cracks on the top.  Oh well.  Hal was happy, so I was too.

Hal, I love you more than life.  I am so proud to be your wife.  I hope you had a great birthday, now you can take your presents to the garage and play.   (I rhymed, you should be so proud.)

Puppy Shower

You read that right, tonight my lifegroup (the ladies) threw me a PUPPY SHOWER! I really do have the best lifegroup.  I’m still hoping to have a baby shower, but this was really a close second!!!  The party was complete with princess balloons, gifts, food, a bone cake, and lots of laughter!

For those of you who need to be caught up, Hal and I have decided to adopt a female cock-a-poo puppy, which we’ve named Charlotte.   I believe she will be 8 weeks old when we pick her up on Sunday!!!  Meet Charlotte… isn’t she the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen!

To get ready for her, our lifegroup threw us this amazing shower, we now have EVERYTHING we need to bring her home…here are some pics!

Here’s the ladies, minus Stacie who was getting her kids ready for bed.  From left to right: Michelle, Melanie, Melissa, Katie, Mary Catherine, me, and Beckey Joe.

The bone cake which was beautifully crafted by Mary Catherine…. AND…

me being a goofball…the icing was calling my name….”Sarah, SAAARRRAAAH”

Mary Catherine hacking away at the cake….

Mary Catherine gave me this pink tutu as the “going home” outfit…Hal may kill me.

Beauty shot of MC

Thanks Elliott family for all the goodies!

Thanks Mel, I’ll be sure to pass along the dog biscuit recipes to you and Michelle!

Michelle holding the pink pig “lovie” for Charlotte.

Yes, we even played the toilet paper game…thanks Mel!

Finally…a picture of me and Stacie!

The Loot

We got dog food, 2 kinds of dog treats, a tutu outfit (again, Hal may kill me),  a headband/necklace (which matches MC’s bow) haha,  a puppy bathrobe (which we’ll use as her towel after her baths, dog biscuit cookbook, water & food bowls, pink pig lovie, squeak toy (which we may have to hide), a picture frame (for our first family picture), god poop bags and clever holder to attach to our flexi leash, a new leash, ropes for chewing, a ball, and a lint remover.

Thank you so much ladies.  I feel so blessed to call you friends.  Thank you for sharing your lives with us and allowing us to share our journey with you.  We’re so excited to add to our family and thanks to your thoughtful gifts, we are all ready for Charlotte this weekend!  Maybe the next one can be of the human (baby) persuasion.   Love you all!

I Don’t Like Jesus

I got your attention with that one didn’t I?  I am a Christ-follower, a Christian, a lover of Jesus….whatever you choose to call it, and I don’t always like Jesus.  No, I didn’t just get struck by lightening.   Seriously though, that’s hard for me to admit.  Aren’t Christians SUPPOSED to like Jesus, doesn’t that just come as part of the package?

My honest answer…NO, liking Jesus doesn’t come easily to me.  I LOVE him as my Creator, Savior, Redeemer, Father, Friend, Counselor, Light in dark places, and on the list goes. However, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t loved someone but not liked them very much at times. I love my husband so much, but there are certainly times I don’t like him very much.   I think that’s a fair and truthful statement.

I sometimes feel that He is unclear, I sometimes feel like I am being manipulated, and I sometimes feel let down by Him and wonder why He won’t do for me what He’s done for others. I sometimes feel that I just don’t get it.  However, I know that I am nothing but dust without him. I know that I am a sheep wandered away from the flock without him. I know that I am wretched and worthy of nothing without him. And I know that by offering my life to him I have surrendered (given up my right) to my own wants, dreams and hopes for his wants, dreams, and hopes for me. I am learning to love him more than my life, to be honest with him rather than covering up my thoughts with “Christian-ese” words that mean nothing (you guys know what I’m talking about), to trust him even when I don’t like him, to walk this journey no matter where it leads, and to open my heart and mind up to more of him.  The cost of that is great.  It means giving up more of me and accepting more of Him.  It means enduring persecution and pain and loss.  It means repenting of sin which draws me further away from a right relationship with Christ.  It means accepting His grace and mercy when I don’t understand and simply don’t like Him.

I am fortunate to attend Beach Church.  A church where people can be honest and authentic.  We’re in a series called, “Confessions of a Pastor”.  Our small groups pastor (and the facilitator of our life group), Todd Elliott got up before the entire congregation and confessed to not liking Jesus.  WOAH!!!  A pastor not liking Jesus.  He offered a gut-wrenching, thought-provoking glimpse into authentic relationships with Jesus.  He’s invited us to join him on a journey with Jesus…A journey of really looking for the answers that Jesus leaves behind in His word, a journey towards wrestling with what Jesus says, does, and expects of me as a follower of Him.  I’ve decided to follow Todd’s journey as well as start one of my own.  I invite you to check out his blog I Don’t Like Jesus.

If we can’t be honest in the church, where can we? Joshua 1:8-10 (New International Version), “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Broken But Not Destroyed

I know it’s been awhile since I last posted.  It’s been a busy, busy, busy season at work right now so that has monopolized a lot of my time.  However, I will have a couple posts up in the next week since we just had a Stay-Cation (stayed in town on a mini vacation), and Hal’s 10 year reunion.

Until I get those up, I wanted to re-post a blog from a couple months ago as it really fits where I am right now.  As some of you know I have been on quite a journey the last year or so, one that has been painful as much as it has made me hopeful.  I received some wonderful news from a friend that has been a source of encouragement to me, but still reminds me of my own brokenness.  Like the pot in the picture, it is broken, but it’s not destroyed.  It is still useful should someone choose to use it as it is.  I’m thankful that the Lord chooses to use broken vessels… Anyway, here’s the posting…with a couple edits.

While I’m Waiting

I have found myself having a harder time with trusting the Lord in this area of my life.  Although deep in my spirit I am still in love with the Lord and know that He is still the same yesterday-today-forever, I feel disappointed by Him.  I feel let down.  It’s been harder to find my feet on solid ground again.  The Lord, in his faithfulness, has continued to woo me back into communion with him (for which I am thankful) and has humbled me yet again.  I was asking Him to simply remind me that there is a purpose He has in this and that He will remain steadfastly beside me as I walk out this journey.  And He did, through a song heard in a movie.  This song was played in the middle of the movie “Fireproof” that Hal and I saw on Thursday night.  It moved me to tears and I felt that all familiar stirring in my soul to listen up and take in what the Lord had for me in that moment.  I wanted to share the lyrics to that song with you.  This is “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller.  It’s on his CD “The Blessing”.

Beyond reading the lyrics you will definitely want to listen…just click the link below.

While I\’m Waiting

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on you, Lord

And I am hopeful

I’m waiting on you, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait.

I WILL MOVE AHEAD, BOLD AND CONFIDENT.  TAKING EVERY STEP IN OBEDIENCE.  WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU.  WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP.  WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL NOT FAINT.  I’LL BE RUNNING THE RACE, EVEN WHILE I WAIT.

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on you, Lord.l

And I am peaceful

I’m waiting on you, Lord.

Though it’s not easy

But faithfully, I will wait.

Yes, I will wait.

I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING,I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING ON YOU LORD.

Needless to say, the lyrics to this song almost literally brought me to my knees and have provided me with the ever important reminder that my God is greater than my pain and my sorrow, my fears and my doubts, even my joys and delights.  That even in the midst of my pain it should be and is my honor to worship Him, despite how I may feel.  That through the shared honesty with the Lord of where I am and how I feel that an exchange will take place and He will meet me in the trenches.  I love that about Him.  Blessings to you tonight.